The Head and The Heart Vol. 9

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.

All good news!

I had a follow up appointment with the neurosurgeon who performed my brain surgery last week. This was my first follow up with him since my ICU stay, as my other appointments have been with members of the greater neurosurgical team, my primary care doctor, etc.

I felt nervous going into the appointment. Later in the day, Hans admitted he was nervous too.

I heard this quote when I was in high school that has stuck with me and helped me reframe navigating tough situations. The quote is:
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.

I never knew the author and never thought to look it up until now. It's a quote by a pastor, Charles Swindoll. I can't vouch for anything else he's said or believes, because I don’t know anything about him beyond that quote, but that quote has had a big impact on me and the way I live my life.

As I was sitting in the waiting room, looking around at the other patients waiting for appointments with a neurosurgeon, I realized I was the youngest person there by 20 years. This was also true of my experience in the ICU. It made me think, “Huh, I never thought I’d be here/faced with any health issues until I was older.” But then I reframed it, reminding myself that I was in control of how I could react to this thought and quickly and gently said to myself, “I’m so grateful to know that I have had an aneurysm so I can look for new ones, make a plan, and Raine can make a proactive plan if this aneurysm thing is hereditary. Maybe this rupture aneurysm saved me.
And her.”

And that reframe made me happy and grateful to be sitting in a waiting room of people 20 years my senior. Moments later, my name was called.

This is a photo from my CT scan the day I went into the ER in November. At my appointment last week, we asked to see some of the scans from the past 6 weeks. I’m a visual learner so this was so helpful. The white fuzzy pockets near the top on either side of my head is blood - that shouldn’t be there - from the ruptured aneurysm.

Weight-Lifting

Once one completes brain surgery and is monitored for 12 days straight with every medical gadget and tube and monitor watching my every breath, it still baffles me how unmonitored I’ve been after discharge. The discharge process included well wishes, hugs all around, and a few meds to take at home. Overall very casual considering I had brain surgery days prior.

The recovery has been slow but also calm, and a little uninstructed. So many people have asked if there’s a certain diet to follow, brain health foods I need to consume, or screen time restrictions. There answer to all of those questions is: no restrictions. The instructions I’ve been given are simple.
- Focus on brain rest (quiet time in a dark room with no music and your eyes closed)
- If you’re doing something and start to feel off, stop doing it
- Don’t lift anything over 10lbs
- Drive if you feel comfortable enough to do it
- Rest

My biggest question going into the appointment was around the weight restriction. Initially the instructions were sometime between 6-8 weeks the restriction could be lifted. I never realized how many things are over 10lbs. I mentioned this question to the intake nurse and it was hilariously misunderstood. When the neurosurgeon came in, he started addressing my ask to go back to lifting heavy weights as a part of my exercise routine. Ha! When we sorted out that I was actually only hoping to lift up my 35lbs toddler, he approved quickly and without hesitation.

The other big question I had was around my birthday. I’m hoping to fully celebrate all that this last year has brought and cheersing to what next year will bring. On my birthday, I love to have a glass of some of my favorite champagne to toast myself. His response, without hesitation was: Absolutely, you can do whatever you want. Enjoy a bottle!

The Rest

This appointment and ‘sign off’ by the neurosurgeon and neurosurgical fellow gave me the confidence to push myself a little bit - maybe get out of bed before noon, try to go for a longer walk, sneeze with the peace of knowing that my ruptured aneurysm is going to be okay, lift Raine confidently, and keep on living my life.

I wrote the neurosurgeon a thank you note during the appointment. It’s hard to put into a card how much gratitude I feel for all the helpers that moved quickly and swiftly to save my life. I could tell he was surprised to receive a card, but also, equally as happy to see that I was doing as well as I am, as he has truly seen it all.

I’m still taking it slower than my usual pace. I’m resting, I’m recovering, I’m relaxing, I’m recharging. But I find I’m also reimaginging, I’m re-engaging, and reengerized. With that new found confidence, I kicked it off by cooking two

Alison Roman

recipes, we had a family pizza night at our favorite neighborhood spots, and I had four days in a row without an afternoon nap. Good news and good progress all around.

XO,
R

This picture is from my new favorite time for a Friday night dinner out: 5:00pm.