The Head and The Heart Vol. 17

The only thing you really need is a cheerleader.

I’m adding florals to all of my content for the foreseeable future to inspire myself and remind myself that I can become a gardener. Stay tuned…

What do neurosurgeons and pest control have in common?
I have a few foggy memories between the time I started to not feel good at home the day of my aneurysm and the start of brain surgery. I was lucid the entire time but as the brain bleed continued to occur and I was pumped with meds to prepare for surgery, a few memories felt groggy. One moment, in particular, that seems foggy but highly probable is the memory of me giving a pep talk to every single medical professional that came in my presence pre-surgery. I remember saying: We can only have positive attitudes and mindsets going into this surgery. I have a one year old daughter. I have a husband that I love. I need to be okay. I’m going to be okay. We’re only speaking and thinking positive things in this space. We all need to be in the right mindset going into surgery.

I remember saying this to them with a lot of conviction. I also remember holding hands with a few nurses who said some prayers with me when the weight of the past 5 hours (going from leading a call with 100 people and feeling 100% normal to being moments away from brain surgery to control a very serious brain bleed) felt overwhelming.

What I remember clearly about those moments was their response. Looking back through my medical records, I could see that a stroke code was called. So even though there was extreme urgency to address the situation, the entire medical team seemed confident, calm, supportive, and optimistic.

As I was being put under, I very vividly remember locking eyes with one of the doctors who had their mask and hairnets on, ready for surgery but I could clearly hear her say: We’ve got this. We’ve got you.

And relinquishing control that I never even had, I trusted complete strangers turned immediate supporters with my most important asset for the next few hours: My brain.

As our edition of a mouse hunt continued, we called in the professionals. After troubleshooting this mouse hunt for almost a month, we had a few days of assuming we’ve reached success, only to wake up and realize we’ve failed once again.

When the professionals arrived, they had the same demeanor and positive attitude as my neurosurgeons. They were our cheerleaders and said more than once: We’ve got this. Hang on. We’ve got you.

Obviously these two situations are worlds apart, but the sentiment is the same: Sometimes you just need someone who has skills you don’t have to step in, save the day, save your life, and be your biggest cheerleader.

Library trips followed by having a picnic snack and reading some books have become a weekly staple.

Mother’s Day
I’m sending this newsletter on Mother’s Day and I’d be remiss not to share my feelings on this day. Mother’s Day is layered for many people, for many reasons. For me, the journey to becoming a mother has included navigating infertility, loss, grief, and everything in between.

This week, one of my favorite community resources shared my comments on the journey and the importance of finding and searching for connection during the phase of constantly hoping, wishing, and praying for the gift of growing a family. You can read the excerpt here.

If you’re looking for community around infertility/loss/grief or know someone who is, I would love to connect with them. I’m building a passion project that provides support for those navigating loss and their communities.

Timberwolves playoff game 2024.

Why Must The Timberwolves Play at 9:00pm
I don’t have many musings or thoughts on this beyond the fact that in the last year I’ve become invested in the Minnesota Timberwolves and Lynx.* The Timberwolves are in the thick of playoff season. Last year, I was lucky enough to tag along to a few of the playoff games with my super-fan husband. This year, my exhaust is keeping me from tagging along, but I find myself still watching the games on tv and trying to spot my husband cheering in the stands. I’m staying up way too late, but it’s so fun to be glued to the tv and rooting for the home team.

Thank you all for your continued love and support,

XO,

R

*The first sign that something has changed in my brain? The fact that I’m talking to you about sports.